Blue Goth

What does it mean to live as a human.

What does it mean to live as a Human? Lately I have been asking myself that question. Its not about spending your days, doing what you have to do, to survive. Nor is it about slogging your days ahead, hoping to be successful one day. And, its also not about spending days trying to be a good person, hoping to recieve good karma for that.

In fact, life as a human, is everything. We live in worries. We live in fear, we live in happiness, drown ourselves in sorrow, celebrate our victories with friends and loved ones. When push comes to shove, we are capable of banding together to face the threat. Life as a human being, embraces everything. Life as a human, is also nothing. Life comes and goes. Every one of us is just one insignificant, dispensable living thing. When we die, some other human replaces us. When we die, not very human being on this planet is gonna weep for us anyway. Well, heck. Its about how you want to view life as I suppose.

And I suppose, each and every one of us on this planet, have unique ways on dealing with life. On how we live each and every day. Some of us like to procrastinate. Always sit on ideas. Never getting off our asses til its too late to do anything. Some of us are spontaneous people. We do things on the impulse. And heck, some actions are gonna lead us to a whole lot of trouble, but who cares. And some of us, are meticulous planners. We plan and plan and plan, always tweaking our plans, everything is about going according to plans, and what the hell, why do we always plan for the long term, and not short term? And some of us, are momentum followers. We observe the flow of things, and always follow the ideas and cultures that are currently fashionable. In short, we are nomads. Mentally of course. Well, physically too, if you want. Whatever makes you happy.

In fact, there are so many ways that we can hold ourselves by, that it is impossible to list them all here. If I did, I probably would not be able to complete this post anyway. But this is a fact. Different people have very different ways of doing things. No two humans are the same, and no two actions are exactly the same. Even if both of them are just opening the same can of coke. And that is how, I suppose, we should live as a human being. There's no point trying to copy a role model. And seriously, there's no point trying to copy whatever gadgets, or whatever apparels a celebrity is wearing anyway. Coz that's not you. Your friends are going to notice that change straight away. And they may or may not like it. And then you may or may not become the new celebrity. For all the wrong reasons. Have you ever seen a situation where a celebrity paste on a doraemon tattoo on his body, and everybody is freaking out coz they thought that was cool, and when someone else did the same thing, he gets the opposite?

See, the thing is, no matter how much you try to copy a "role model", you can never feel right, because you are trying to live the way your role model view his or her life as. He might feel that life is a place full of opportunities, but you may feel that life is unfair, for example. And because all his actions are going to based on his take on life, you will never feel at ease because you are gonna disagree, mentally, with almost everything he does. Heck, even a twin brother might feel that his brother is an asshole. Well, unless he himself is an asshole.

So what does it mean to live as a human? This question, I suspect, would also be unique to everyone. In fact, I even think that we will never have a definite answer for ourselves, because people change. People change over time. And our ideas will also change along our lives. Only thing is that this change is gradual. I suppose, it would be something like philsophy. Not everybody would understand what the hell is the writer talking about, except the writer himself. And then a few years later he would write another article, and same thing, everyone except himself would not understand the gibberish. Only this time, the writer might not even understand why the hell he wrote the previous article at all. Well, of course, the idea might be simple. Just be yourself. But I suppose, in reality, its gonna suck bad just trying to do just that. First of, we will have to contend with laws. Then there are the invisible cultural laws. The kind whereby you can't see it, but you get to enjoy the consequences of breaking said laws. Then there are also family laws. The kind where you get to see it, you get to feel it, and you hate to follow it. Because they will record the laws on cd and play it to you everyday. So, ah well, there goes our freedom of expression. But well, as human beings, we have an ability to get around by loopholes. So there.

I always liked this quote. "Where is the freedom when you are doing what you feel is right? Nobody chooses the wrong. It is the uncertainty that sets you free." It doesn't mean that you have to break laws. It merely means that sometimes, right and wrong are subjective. No 2 persons will agree on the same definition. And there are times whereby you have to act on what YOU feel is right to yourself. Because if we wrestle with every question that society throws at us, nobody is gonna do anything. And there's also nothing to fear, because in the end, you are just acting on your behalf. You true self. And that's the power of a human being. We are able to make independent decisions in times where we really need it. Decisions based on self-knowledge, backed by our own beliefs, our own uncertainties.

Well, anyone who had actually bothered to read this to the end, or was even foolish to read it to begin with, I applaud you. Because you read through everything even though you didnt understand what am I talking about. I also pity you, because there are no defintite answers to this question anyway. But let me just rattle your brain abit more, by leabing you with a quote: "When you start to become who you really are, you realise that there's nothing to fear. You don't have to know what you are. All you have to do, is choose, and act." And don't bother wrestling with question whether or not your choices are wrong or right. Because time doesn't flow backwards. Good day.

Bourne Hiero

felt a little blue at 10:40 PM,
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